“… all too often on our fairly infrequent date nights we fall into the trap of talking about the kids, or work, or things equally banal,” said another blogger.
Source: Something to Try Next Date Night
I think the longer you are together, the more this becomes true.
My hubby and I try to go on date nights often but I agree – it is so easy and perhaps second nature to talk about everyday stuff like the kids, work, and money. I really did not think of this as a problem but when I ran across that blog, I thought about it.
Date nights should be time reserved to focus on each other, and nothing else. There’s always time for the other stuff.
Accordingly, the blogger inspired me — I decorated a small box and cut a tissue-box hole in the top. I came up with a list of about 20 questions and typed them up. There were a few other sites that gave me some ideas on questions simply by googling something like “questions to ask your spouse over date night” and “how to keep date night conversations off the kids”. I printed the list and cut them into small strips and placed them inside the box. It took me about 30-minutes to put it together.
I took the box with us on our dinner date; it did not look out-of-place because it looks like a small gift. The activity turned out to be really fun…and it worked…it was all about us. In fact, as the dinner, libations, and activity set in, questions seem to become more ad lib and answers seem to become even more entertaining. I thought my hubby would get bored with it after the first few questions, but I was wrong. He enjoyed it as much as I did, and consistently found himself pulling out the next question. Remember there is not obligation to do all of the questions or is there any right or wrong answers.
Though after all these years we claim to know each other quite well, the activity fostered the same kind of connection we had during our initial dating years. This was a moment to reconnect. We talked about our dreams, we talked about our main attractions about each other, we talked about our best/worst (lol) gifts we received from each other, and more. During the activity, something magical happened…we found each other laughing hysterically one moment, then holding hands and gazing into each others’ eyes the next moment. This emotional high carried over past the date…
Regular dating, as well as these types of “us”-centered conversations are necessary to build and maintain your relationship… we call it our DNA (date night answers). Why don’t you try it, and let me know how it works for you.